Thursday, March 31, 2011

If he's not asking you to Cup...

For my own personal spin on the classic, "Hes Just Not That Into You" theory, I present you with the idea: "If hes not asking you to Cup......." Maybe hes just not that into you? A discouraging thought, but a valid one, indeed.
For those of you who don't know...Carolina Cup is a highly-anticipated staple in most USC students' spring semesters, with over 60 thousand people expected to attend this year alone. It is a day where rage-advocates travel to Camden, SC to support the steeplechase horse racing event.... by never actually seeing the race itself, but by instead tailgating on the surrounding grassy knoll.
Fratstars, head-to-toe in preppy pastels, and sundress-sporting sorostitutes adorned with pearl necklaces and big, floppy hats show up at the crack of dawn to begin their annihilation by ripping shots of the cheapest bourbon you can find at Greene's (or the grog shop if you're super sketchy). The rage lasts for the remainder of the day until students stumble back onto their buses, most missing at least one item they came with (camera, phone, shoes, shirt, etc.).
So, to those of you who consider dressing up to go party with thousands of your closest friends a good time, I'm with you. What I don't understand, however, is why people are choosing to forego the occasion just because they are dateless. I was in attendance last year, and I don't believe I stumbled upon an awkward "singles" table where those who did not arrive arm-in-arm with a frat-tastic counterpart were shunned to.
I'm not referring just to single gals, either. I know plenty of girls who aren't going because their current fling fed them a line as to why he wouldn't be able to take them this year--leaving them name just a few: "I didn't think about it until now, and the bus is already full"...."No ones really going with dates this year"..."I thought you were going with somebody else"....
and my ultimate favorite: "I can't afford my ticket PLUS yours."
While there are always exceptions, most likely if you were fed one of these lines the sad truth is.... he's probably just not that into you.
My reasoning:
While $45 dollars seems like a hefty fine for him to dish out for your ticket at first, consider the amount of money he routinely spends at the liquor store, or on late-night munchie runs at Sonic, or on miscellaneous items, like a new camo collar for his black lab (ultimate frat dog).
When you look at the situation in perspective, cutting a few corners to save up for your ticket isn't that big of a deal, and that's if he actually earns his own money--which very few of them do. If he doesn't have a job (besides fratting hard 24 hours a day) they have even less of an excuse. This means he was just too lazy to call up mom and dad (who probably love you anyway) and ask for a few extra bucks. Super lame. An additional side note: tickets are available at the Colonial Life Arena, meaning he doesn't even have to use real money to purchase them--a quick deposit of funny money on the old Carolina Card would suffice.
My point: The days of worrying about having a date ended after senior prom. If your frat star is falling short and throwing you one of these lines...Forget him. Ditch the drama. Go with your friends. Look Fabulous. Live it up while you can, because life is too short, and college is even shorter.